Who ate all the pies?

Generally the people I shared with kept their hands off my food, it was usually safe to leave it in the shared fridge but of course it wasn't always plain sailing, I found that having your own fridge (complete with lock) or even having a mini fridge in your bedroom a solution at those times, students were the worst for pilfering food, usually they would leave the dirty plates everywhere yet still try to deny they had been at your grub, alcoholics were another safe bet to steal food, one used to return empty packets into the fridge, I got sick of him so deliberately spiked a carton of milk, not with drugs, I went upstairs with a copy of a top shelf magazine and made the milk a little bit creamier, I hope he enjoyed his tea that morning, dopeheads would get the munchies and eat anything whilst telling everyone to 'chill out' or thinking we were all called 'man', I once saw a case hardened Glaswegian contractor literally knock a dopehead across the room for touching his food, then again I nearly witnessed World War 3 break out over a packet of biscuits. Anyone for afters?